Before I get into the details of the road trip to DEMF, I have to start off by sharing a *great* little story from the week before the festival. Wednesday night, KJ and I had to take what was supposed to be a quick trip downtown to meet-up with a friend. We jumped in the car around 11pm and made our way down to the West Loop, an up and coming neighborhood in Chicago. Think NYC's meatpacking district circa 2001-02. Unfortunately we got a bit lost and wound up way west of the West Loop, which is well... ummm, let's just say... not a great place at midnight, especially for two blond women in a BMW convertible (top down). As things got sketchier, we started to crack jokes about the situation while figuring out where the hell we were going. Next thing you know, we're stopped at a light and a car pulls up beside us with a bunch of interesting characters (men and women) who decide they want to start yelling at us, cat calling and asking if they can come take a ride with us. We tried to play it cool and not respond stereotypically, but at the same time we weren't quite sure everything was going to be OK. Unfortunately we got stuck at three consecutive lights with these people and the driver even kept opening his door threatening to jump in the car with us (which would have been quite easy for him to do!). KJ finally GUNNED the beemer and got us the hell out of there, but it wasn't without some serious sweat. Damn that was close... we definitely learned our lesson! Oh no we di'int! Can you say road trip to DETROIT?!!?
I made the pilgrimage to Detroit for this same music festival last year (it's the birthplace of techno, for those who don't know) and honestly didn't think I'd be back because there are so many other parties and places to see. However, once I saw the final line-up earlier this year, I realized it was way too good to pass up and booked immediately. This time around I skipped the MegaBus in favor of a Thelma and Louise-themed road trip adventure with KJ. We set off around 9:30am Saturday morning after having to get a flat tire changed, which was the small price we had to pay for our near death experience Wednesday night. The ride went quite smoothly until we took yet another wrong turn just inside the Detroit city limits. Do you see a pattern here? At least this time we didn't have the top down! So we were officially lost (again) and this time HAD to stop for directions. It's not like there was a good place to stop in this neighborhood, so we just pulled into some random gas station-looking establishment. We walked inside only to find a semi-retarded, player-wannabe behind the counter who tried to hit on KJ from behind the bullet proof glass. There was, however, one very nice woman who was happy to tell us how to get to our hotel, but we had to pass by three crackheads to find her. On our way out, there was a gentleman sitting in his car waiting for us and as we approached, he rolled down the window to tell us that "he knew we were obviously not from around here, that he has been watching our car and that we should get the hell out of there now. and he meant, now!". Sweet, twice in one week! Dumb or unlucky? You decide. We jumped in the car and got the hell out of dodge and made our way to the hotel without so much as a missing hubcap. Thank god!
OK, now that we have tales from the ghetto out of the way, let's get down to business... the festival, Day 1! We got settled in our pimptastic suite at the Holiday Inn Express, met up with Sami, Sean, 
Colleen and Mike Sieben Part Deux and set off for Hart Plaza. We got there just as Pier Bucci was getting things started in the Beatport tent. It was my first time hearing him in person and I really enjoyed the set - great way to get things started. Guido Schneider and Claude Von Stroke played back to back sets in the Beatport tent after that and while CVS was pretty damn funky and fun, he didn't really blow the roof off the tent as I was expecting. I'm not sure if it was my uber high expectations, his rumored ear infection or something else, but I was hoping for a *little* bit more from him. Toward the end of his set, Joel and I took a walk to the Pyramid stage, which is overlooking the Detroit River and did our best dub-step in the drizzle while enjoying minimal masters, Rhythm & Sound.
We finished the night by swinging by the main stage for some vintage Kerri Chandler house music before going back to the Beatport tent for an absolutely wicked set by Marco Carola. He dropped dirty a$$ techno that had me, Joel and the rest of the tent bouncing and smiling from start to finish. Great day... although it was not over just yet! Me, Sami, Faux Mike Sieben and Joel were walking home up Washington Blvd when all of the sudden we heard Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" come blaring out of a mobile billboard truck and had a red carpet rolled out right in front of our feet. We literally almost tripped on the carpet and couldn't help but stop to see what was going on. Before we knew it, there were five girls and a guy werking the red carpet in some totally random and wack ghetto fabulous evening wear. We cat called, took pictures and laughed our a$$es off before walking back to the hotel for some late night antics. Shortly thereafter, we called it a night in favor of getting a full day in on Sunday.
Day 2 - Rise and shine... oh wait, clouds and rain! The day started off pretty crappy weather-wise so we ate pop tarts, watched cartoons and had an impromptu photo shoot in the hotel. That kept us occupied long enough to brave the outdoors and as luck would have it, the sun was out by time we walked over to the festival. We met up with Maya and Kelly (from the Lou!) and sat outside the Detroit tent to enjoy the sunshine and aural pleasures of Audion. We sat, we drank Sparks and played with Bjorn the gnome while taking in the 
sights and sounds. Audion played really solid tunes - he never really disappoints. We ventured in and out of the tent throughout his set and then finally made our way over the Pyramid Stage where we were firmly planted in the direct sunlight for the better part of five hours and finally got to meet up with DC10 homie, Brian (from London!). Baby Ford & Gui Boratto were really good and Michael Mayer simply OK. We had a blast meeting up with the massive New York 'ism contingent, providing Pacifier and Book Reading Public Service Announcements to festival goers, Sami surfing, watching Kendra in her Safe Sex Rain Suit, observing the DEMF Judges dish out the score cards and snapping pics of the little boy who was eating a piece of meat bigger than his head. The only time we left that spot was to catch the end of Misstress Barbara and thank god we did because she was tearing the Beatport a new one! That was the first of the many freak-out dance sessions we had that night.Later on we jammed to Matthew Jonson (who dropped his track Marionette in honor or Loco!) and Monolake before closing out the night with Steve Bug. He dropped a few ridiculous tracks, but on the whole left me wanting more. We grabbed a corn dog on the way out and then piled our entire crew into one bed for a cuddle puddle before going to bed for the night.
Day 3 - 7am party professionals wake up call...it's time for afterhours! We got up, showered, ate and checked out of the hotel in order to attend an early morning 
session at The Old Miami on Cass Avenue in yet another lovely section of Detroit. The venue was built in 1975 as a spot for Vietnam Veterans to hang and now hosts punk shows. It has a huge backyard 
complete with signs from Vietnam, a missile and a variety of other random props. One Detroit website describes it as welcoming to "freaks, gays, junkies, bikers, etc." - sweet! Waking up for 
afterhours was (and always is) the best decision you can make. I walked into the venue around 8:30am and literally bumped into Loco Dice who promptly offered me $20 for my sunglasses. I said, 
"hell no!" and then chatted him up, reminding his fuzzy mind that he played my birthday party at Sullivan Room in April. He asked for the sunglasses again and as any professional would, I walked away to get the party started. To our surprise the backyard was enormous and filled with both unobstructed sun and party peeps taking in the minimal sounds of Butane. We saw some familiar faces, got ourselves a breakfast beer and then starting dialing the phones of all the friends who were late arriving, still in bed or otherwise detained. It's "Pawn Shop with grass!" I was telling everyone! The party went till 3pm and well... let's just say there were lots of people there to MAKE PARTY. Some of the highlights include: the poop mower, the two coochie dusters, the koi pond jumping (and subsequent visit from a PETA representative), the old man dancing, the wedding bouquet toss, the husband finding and rubbing, Betty's wedding confetti, Ambivalent aka Ice Crotch, Kendra's GI Jane pushups, the messy messsy messy Zebra Girl, all of the shenanigans with Nancy, the phantoms of the afterhours, two tractor wipe outs and one poo mowing, Santa and his reindeer, missile rides, tractor and chair surfing, the boom mic, the People (aka Begona) Mover and many more... Oh and I forgot to mention that we were treated to Troy Pierce, Matthew Dear, Ryan Elliiot, Butane and Sety. Not too shabby (-: After winding down the morning nonsense, we cruised back to the hotel to for a quick re-org before heading over to the festival for one last dance floor session with Damian Lazarus on the main stage and a corn dog for good measure. KJ and I said our goodbyes and then had to hit the road to head back to Chicago, leaving behind a crew of dedicated and capable soldiers to carry on the mission. Sadly I missed Booka Shade (again), but no regrets... it was a fun filled weekend with amazing music. Much love to all the usual suspects as well as the new party people from NYC, Detroit, Chicago and elsewhere around the globe that I got to throw down with!Claude Von Stroke gets the Beatport tent a-rockin!
The crowd chants "Detroit" as Guido Schneider finishes his set.
Videos from The Old Miami:
